Diving In

If you’re reading this, you probably know me. And if you know me, you know that I have strong opinions, don’t hold my tongue, and am passionate about a number of things. You also probably know that family is everything, and mine is big, all sorts of crazy, and I love them dearly. I love corny jokes (thanks, Dad!), and crafty things (here’s to you, Mom!). I live with the love of my life  and our two cats. I’m sure I sometimes drive her crazy with all of my little projects and crafts, but she supports me no matter what.

So, what’s the point of staring this blog, anyway? And what’s it going to be about?

Well, I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, but couldn’t decide on what it should be about. I figured the best way to find out would be to dive in and see where it takes me. So…

It won’t be a blog about decorating, or crafting, or fashion, or cooking, or organization. But I’ll talk about all those things, because I love them.

It’s not going to be all about politics – but on occasion I’ll talk politics. Because, after all, the political is the personal and the personal is political.

I’ll most likely write about social issues, things that bother me or that I wish I could change. I’ll probably highlight things that inspire me, or showcase the good in the world.

This won’t be a blog about gay rights issues, but I’ll touch on them to be sure – I’m gay and these issues affect my life daily.

I’m not going to post about our cats everyday, but expect to see them make an appearance when they do something insanely adorable or infuriating.

I might talk about a book I’ve read, or a movie I’ve seen, or a recipe I’ve tried.

We’ll see where it takes me, and I hope you’ll come along for the ride.



Project: IKEA cabinet to breakfast nook


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When my sister and her family moved, she gave us a couple of cabinets she’d bought from IKEA (many years ago) and had used in her kitchen for extra storage. They were plain wooden cabinets, one deeper than the other, and she had often stacked them like a hutch and used them for food storage, etc.

We had just moved in together, and were still trying to figure out how we were going to set up the apartment, what furniture we needed, etc. There’s not a lot of cabinet space in our very tiny kitchen, so were thrilled when she offered them to us. However, our kitchen and dining room are connected, and the way it’s configured, we couldn’t stack them as she had done. Plus, we really wanted a free-standing island/breakfast nook.

So we got creative.

After a good deal of talking and planning, we took a trip to HomeDepot and picked up a piece of plywood, ceramic tiles (and grout, etc), paint and door handles. Then we swung over to IKEA and picked up some more legs to match those that were already on the piece my sister had used for the base cabinet. Then we got to work. We cleared out the dining room, laid down a drop cloth, broke out the sandpaper, power drill, paintbrushes and got to work. We then made another trip to HomeDepot to get the rest of the supplies we’d forgotten.


I think it was about half-way through the project that we looked at each other and thought “oh crap, what did we get ourselves into with this project?” Did I mention that we had just moved in together!?!?


After a weekend of hard work and frustration on both our parts (and me being dubbed “project take-over queen”) we finally finished our kitchen island/breakfast nook. And despite our struggles, or perhaps because of them, we finished our project feeling closer than ever, with a shared sense of accomplishment.



We now have two functional storage units, a breakfast nook and a sidebar!


At-Home Salad Bar Solution


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In an attempt to be a little healthier and eat more balanced dinners, B and I started making a point to have salads with our dinners each night. However, washing the lettuce or spinach, peeling and chopping carrots and cucumbers and all of the other salad fixings can be tedious and time consuming, especially when preparing a main dish as well.

We were talking one night about how convenient cafeteria and grocery store salad bars are, so we brainstormed ways to bring the convenience of a salad bar into our own kitchen. The solution we came up with is very simple and has been working extremely well, and cuts down on dinner prep time and dishes significantly – and has made packing lunches a cinch!


We found everything we needed at Target, and spent less than $20 on the whole set up! Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the items on the Target website to link to.

Here’s what we used to create our own at-home salad bar:

Two small plastic containers with locking lids


Plastic interlocking drawer organizers – these were helpful so that we could customize the layout of each container.



these are awesome!

I came across this site: http://www.contexture.ca/ and it has a couple of products that I think are totally amazing, namely:

Coffee Cuff


One of the reasons that I don’t use a reusable coffee cup and/or clutch is that I always forget them or they end up being cumbersome. However, soemthing that I could just slip on my wrist when I’m done with it? Now that’s something I could go for!

45 Nano Cases


I’d never give up my iPod to go back to using tapes, but there is soemthing that’s just so great and nostalgic about a cassette tape!

I also really love when old items are reused and/or repurposed to make something new and fantastic!


Some thoughts on friendship

I've been thinking about my college friends a lot lately, and
reflecting on the fact that I haven't stayed as close with them since
graduation as I would have hoped. This has happened for a variety of
reasons: being spread out across the country, having different
schedules, different interests and priorities, and life getting in the
way. As a group, we have a much different dynamic than we did when we
were undergrads, all struggling with the same sort of problems and
dealing with the uncertainty of what the future would bring.

I have noticed however, that I seem to be the one that is the most
removed from the rest (with the possible exception of our
west-coaster). And then I realized that this is due, in large part, to
my own actions and inactions. I have allowed, and in some cases
forced, myself to become distant from these people who I once
considered my closest friends. I've wondered how I could have let this
happen, and then I had a break through.

Letting my friends go was, in effect, my final act of friendship
towards my best friend. Our friendship was complicated, frustrating,
and unhealthy; in order for me to grow and move forward with my life, had to let it go. It was a difficult decision to make, and I know that I didn't go about it in the best way, but it was necessary. I won't list all of the reasons or go into detail about why I had to end the friendship, but I think it was probably better for both of us in the end. In ending one friendship, I felt that I had to let the others slip as well. I felt that she needed their friendship more than I did.

I wanted to keep up relationships with my friends, of course, but felt that my want was less important than what I perceived to be her need. I have no illusions about being this wonderful, self-sacrificing person; I know that I'm not, but in this situation I did what I felt I needed to. I don't know if my other friends will understand this or forgive me my absence, but I can hope. I've taken the first steps recently to try to reconnect with them and it seems to be going well so far. if the need arises, I will do my best to explain my actions and my reasons for them. Now all I can do is hope for the best and work at rekindling the friendships that I let smolder for too long.

Satire article not funny


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So, yesterday a “news story” broke (Jenny Sanford: “Gay marriage wrecked my family”) on a little-known “news site” (The DiSCust) and quickly spread, without people realizing it was a satire piece (I must admit, myself included). It “quoted” Jenny Sanford and Rush Limbaugh in regards to gay marriage, and made claims that gay marriage was to blame for the “moral decay” of America.

The thing about the article that bothered me the most was that it was supposed to be a satire, but sadly, this is how some people in this country actually feel, and would be inclined to agree with the statements attributed to Ms. Sanford. There are people who really do believe that “the gays” are to blame for myriad problems.

My initial reaction to this piece, before discovering that it was supposed to be a parody, was to be furious. The fight for marriage equality is not the reason that spouses have affairs. Gays and lesbians who share their lives with each other and want it to be federally recognized have nothing to do with people’s inability to keep in their pants, so to speak. If “the sanctity of marriage” has been destroyed, it is not because of us. It is thanks to people like Governor Sanford, who think that cheating is okay. It’s not.

If moral values are declining in America, it’s not “the gays” who are to blame. It’s people who make excuses for bad behavior and find someone else to blame. Where has the accountability for one’s actions gone? You can just buy your way out if you have enough money or power, or go to church on Sunday and be absolved of your sins, you can just get a divorce if your marriage isn’t working. Marriage is not supposed to be a temporary arrangement that can be entered in to and out of at will; it is a commitment to spend your life with, care for, be faithful to and love one another for the rest of your life. Why is it that someone who is denied the right to marry more able to see that than some people who are able to do so whenever they choose? Is it that they take marriage for granted? Is it because it is so easy to get married, divorced and then remarried? Why aren’t philanderers and abusive spouses being blamed for destroying the sanctity of marriage and the decay of moral values? Why are loving, committed gay and lesbian couples blamed for the decay of an institution that we are not even permitted to be a part of? I think that it’s too hard for people to look in the mirror and see what they themselves might be doing wrong; it’s easier to find a scapegoat to pin all the problems on.